Looking at my bank account requires my lorazepam

Money has been tight. We have budgeted big things and discussed them thoroughly. We’re receiving my hospital bills at this point and paying approx $300 a month towards it and thats the best they can do. I have Magic City Con coming up in June, and that requires $100 towards the room and $400 round trip flight (its just too far for me to drive by myself). I planned that back in February. I have a tattoo I am working on. I booked this in September. My artist cuts me a major deal,  about half off each session. Still, tomorrow is supposed to be the third session and that does add up. All this was discussed and planned. Sunday, my husband went out and bought a Nintendo 3DS xL and games. That was $300. He did not discuss this with me. He told me that since he had wanted a three hundred dollar rifle (I knew he was talking about wanting it) that he decided to just get this instead. Originally, we were going to get that rifle for his birthday in April but ultimately got him a rowing machine instead, something more practical and cheaper. The plan was to buy the rifle further down the line.

He gets very angry after my tattoo sessions, even though he knows about them well in advance. He forgets about them and then doesn’t like that money being spent. Here’s the difference, they were planned, they were discussed, they were budgeted. This was not. He just did it without telling me. I tried to be a better person, to set an example, and not fuss. But now I’m looking at our bank accounts and it’s cutting it very close. Very, very close. I can’t cancel my trip at this point. I can cancel my tattoo appointment, I have one more booked in a month. But I shouldn’t have to. I set this date in September!!

Now he also needs a suit for his police interview. We straight up cannot afford it. He insists the one he bought for our wedding (“This is perfect! I will use this again! This is great for interviews and jobs!”) is too formal. Its a dark grey suit. I want to scream.

A $300 handheld gamer that we just won’t use as much as he thinks (we never do) without discussing it with me is a big deal. I’m all for spending fun money, obviously. Tattoo and con! But he buys fun things all the time as well. We discuss this as a team. I am dreading this conversation because I know it won’t go well.

All of this has made my anxiety go through the roof. Goddamn.


Edit; I just want to through in there that I already cancelled a whole another tattoo earlier this year at his request. Just saying.


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