You’d think hair is made of marble

I’m 25, 26 on Tuesday. Since 21, I’ve gotten tattoos (up to 11 with no intention of stopping). I’ve had multiple piercings in my life (all in my ears). I’ve changed my hair every 6 months since I was 13. And yet when I approach my husband about getting an undercut today, he acts like tattoos, piercings and haircuts are completely new.

“FUCK NO”

That’s what the text said when I asked his opinion. He’s very angry now. He thinks I’m changing. He’s accusing me of not wanting to be the woman he met. Of course I’m not the woman he met, I was 14 then. Tattoos have always been discussed at length. Suddenly, they have become an issue with him. I want my lip and septum pierced. He hates it, so I settled on just ear piercings and got the industrial. But that’s not good enough. He wants no piercings. Now, my hair is his control apparantly.

It’s only recently he’s become so controlling. I suspect its rooted in insecurity. Our sex life is minimal. Frankly, I’m just not horny anymore. Not for anyone or anything. It has nothing to do with him. But I try, and I have sex every week or so (sometimes twice a week) FOR HIM. But that’s not good enough. He wants more. Daily. He thinks sex=happy marriage. Maybe for him. And frankly, I’d be willing to have sex every day if I felt like i could do what I want otherwise. And I suppose I still could. But those are fights I don’t want to have.

I love my husband very much. But days like today, I just wonder what is happening with us and how things are going to be in the long run.

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